have you ever had the feeling when, your world's falling apart. and nothing's going right? well, maybe a few things are going right, but your being totally oblivious to it because its being outweighed by all the supposedly bad things clouding your head?

yeah, okay. pretty average.

what about the feeling that no one out there would understand. or they would understand, but not care. or they would care but not bother because their sick of me whining about my problems. i feel like i've overused my 'always come to me if you have problems okaaaaaay' card with practically, everyone.

and the one person who was always the number one on my speed dial (and still is) whenever i have major drama is so far away, so very very far away. and we have to be attached to the ears with our phones to be there for each other. i hate it when we're about to get off the phone and i cant say 'ill see you tomorrow bestfriend!!' and she'll reply back the same way. idk. she's the one person i feel comfortable insulting one minute, and telling her i love her the next. boo, i miss her. and the other half. Aichella's. boo.

i had a bad day today, and it wasnt even because of what happened, or what anyone did. no it was the war in my head resulting in a very quiet and out of character Ells during break time. it was the pro's versus the con's. god only knows who won.

im going to continue pretending im Joshua Osman's stalker. just cause no onecares enough and he's the first and only person to talk to me today. woohoo. he's also fun to play pretend with. xP

Ells : i can stalk you now! you live in [insert where Josh lives here]!

Josh: OMG. how do you know where i live?!

Ells : because. im staring at you from your window right now! MWAHAHAH.

Josh : really? but its pouring with rain.

Ells : well, Rihanna gave me an UMBRELLA, ELLA, ELLA.

Josh : stalker! IM LOCKING THE DOORS TONIGHT!

Ells : you dont lock your doors? tsktsk. no wonder it was so easy for me to get into your house last night!!

Josh : i thought i heard someone.

Ells : uh oh. i shoulda taken my shoes off!!

Josh : YOU WORE SHOES IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT?! HOW DARE YOU?!

Ells : i scrubbed the floors. (A) and then i had tea with your mother and she showed me your baby pictures.

Josh : pfft.

Ells : she wouldnt remember though. i was dressed as you!

im pretty sure you dont want the UBER long one about being a Fruity Bunch so ill stop here. xP

xx.