ellaellaeh

i hate that you make me feel this way.
i hate you for giving me this feeling.
i hate the fact that YOU of all people are giving me this feeling.
i hate that you wouldn't really even give a damn about how i feel.
i hate that you have the power to make me feel this way.
i hate that anything you do affects me at all.
i hate that im wasting my time blogging about this.
i hate that i think it's worth blogging about.
i hate hoping that your going to read about this and fill in the blanks.
i hate being afraid that i gave anything about who you were away even after saying that i hoped you would find out this was you i've been talking about.
i hate my play list for making the thought of you inescapable.
but i hate that you are completely escape-able because of the holidays.
i hate that i ran out of words to describe this because it would give too much away.
i hate the relief i feel because i like feeling something about you.
i hate that i dont really hate it, that i'm coming up with these reasons to make you think that i do hate it. when i dont.
i hate that im in denial because i DO like feeling this way.
despite that i hate the pain it gives me, even after stating that i do like feeling this way.
i hate that i think it's completely obvious who i'm talking about.
in other words, i hate my paranoia.

i HATE epiphanies. grr.

darlinks.

way back when

thankyouu.