ellaellaeh

i had another epiphany; that i was scared shitless of the future.
i would love a rewind button.
cause everythings going so fast that im afraid that when i blink ill be sixty with a billion grandchildren and a husband who doesnt know my name.

i would just love to go back.
go back to when my best friends werent on the verge of graduating and flying all over the world.
go back to when i was still a choice to be one of your best friends when now, you dont bother to acknowledge me.
go back to when i wasnt in love with someone i hardly talked to and pretty much never saw, which is about a hundred times more agonizingly painful than it sounds.
go back to when i was miserably in love because then i knew what i wanted and now i spend half the time sifting through my thoughts to figure out what i want and the other half trying to figure out if it really was what i wanted.
go back to when old friends probably still thought about me.

i was happier. and oblivious to the emotional mess i am now.
good night.

darlinks.

way back when

thankyouu.