ellaellaeh

Is she going to pass out? What do i do? Mike panicked.

A hundred yards away, Mike Newton was lowering Bella's limp body to the sidewalk. She slumped unresponsively against the wet concrete, her eyes closed, her skin chalky as a corpse.

I almost took the door off the car.

"Bella?" I shouted.

There was no change in her lifeless face when I yelled her name.

My whole body went colder than ice.

I was aware of Mike's aggravated surprise as I sifted furiously through his thoughts. He was only thinking of his anger toward me, so I didnt know what was wrong with Bella. If he'd done somethingto harm her, I would annihilate him.

And then she started to walk away from me.

Without thinking about my action, I reached out and caught her by the back of her rain jacket. She jerked to a stop. 

"Where do you think you're going?" I was almost angry that she was leaving me. I hadnt had enough time with her. She couldnt go, not yet. 

...

"I am perfectly capable of driving myself home!"

Of course she was- I just wasnt capable of letting her go.

...

"What's your mother like?" I asked as a distraction.

Bella smiled. "She looks a lot like me. but she's prettier."

I doubted that.

"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?" 

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," I snapped.

Her face flushed, and she turned her back on me. She began to walk away. 

Remorse. I had no right to my anger.

"Wait," I pleaded.

She did not stop, so i followed her. 

"I'm sorry that was rude. Im not saying it isn't true, but it was rude anyway."

"Why wont you leave me alone?"

Believe me, i wanted to say. I've tried.

Oh, and also, im wretchedly in love with you.

Keep it light. 

i want to have something to rant about. but unfortunately, my days has been filled by endless repetitions of television, food, internet and thoughts that never fail to torture me. 

is going to do a Mayday Parade and whatever else songs cover on Saturday at Richelle's with Eddie on piano and me and Richelle on vocals. 

i hate that you make me feel this way.
i hate you for giving me this feeling.
i hate the fact that YOU of all people are giving me this feeling.
i hate that you wouldn't really even give a damn about how i feel.
i hate that you have the power to make me feel this way.
i hate that anything you do affects me at all.
i hate that im wasting my time blogging about this.
i hate that i think it's worth blogging about.
i hate hoping that your going to read about this and fill in the blanks.
i hate being afraid that i gave anything about who you were away even after saying that i hoped you would find out this was you i've been talking about.
i hate my play list for making the thought of you inescapable.
but i hate that you are completely escape-able because of the holidays.
i hate that i ran out of words to describe this because it would give too much away.
i hate the relief i feel because i like feeling something about you.
i hate that i dont really hate it, that i'm coming up with these reasons to make you think that i do hate it. when i dont.
i hate that im in denial because i DO like feeling this way.
despite that i hate the pain it gives me, even after stating that i do like feeling this way.
i hate that i think it's completely obvious who i'm talking about.
in other words, i hate my paranoia.

i HATE epiphanies. grr.


rejoice Jacob fans!

to Flopsy and Chuck.

im not going online karang, i gotta be at Aikks tmrw at 11am. :)

dont bite my head off Chuck.

-xoxo.

get ready for random, people.

***
William Beckett could totally make an awesome vampire. (: wait, he already did play that Mafia-boss-like vampire in FOB's Sixteen Candles video. he was wearing the top hat and sipping tea. ooh, yum.

his hair is still to die for. (:

this started when Aime told me via MSN last night that when she watched him in their video About A Girl, he had crooked teeth. and you know what they say about people with crooked teeth, good kissers! yumm. (:

great, another guy i would want to bite me. as if i havent enough of them already. -.-

***


***
i went to The Mall today with Mother and Brother. me and Mommy found this cool dress shop (its the one next to the CD shop 2nd floor) and i found the prettiest pair of shoes ever. well, two of the prettiest shoes ever. one was gray and old fashioned-esque, the other was literally a Converse pair with heels. PRETTTTTTY. $36.90. each. -bawls.

while we were at the cinema area and i was looking at one of the Twilight billboards there, when Mommy went up to the ticket booth and asked one of the guys how much the one of the billboards were. OMG. HAHAHAHHAHA.

the person said it wasnt for sale, but it was in Seri Qlap. i think that's what Mommy's going to get me for Christmas! wahahahahah.

meanwhile, Daddy's hinting on getting me an iPod for Christmas. in return, i hinted i wanted a yellow iPod Video. yay. (: tapi, my biggest worry when i get the iPod is how am i going to be able to download songs. iTunes probably, but what if i didnt have iTunes? hmm. ohwell.

what else do i want for Christmas?

• Twilight series. or at least the first three books, seeing as i already had Breaking Dawn.
• a brand new wardrobe! honestly, name one girl who doesnt want to be given 5000 dollars and set free in The Mall for a brand new wardrobe. but Daddy was complaining that i had too much clothes already so the next thing i wish for is...
• a goodwill/charity place where i can donate my too-small or dont-want clothes for the needy. (:
  
• i also want a guaranteed plane ticket home for my whole family (AND A NON-REFUNDABLE RETURN TICKET TO BRUNEI!) to spend Christmas with the family in the Phils. :D really, Christmas is so much more happier with your whole family. AND ALSO I COULD GIVE PIA AND GWEN MY CLOTHES FOR WHEN THEY GROW UP. yeaaaaah. :D
• my own lappy!
  
• endless DVD's of my most desired and favourite tv series' and movies and concert's and artists. :)
• The Ting Ting's, Katy Perry's album and Twilight soundtrack. (not just theirs, this is just the one i want the most!)
• enough money to get my girlies and guy friends their Christmas gifts! (yes, i mean this one. :D)
• the Little Black Dress series! and other books by Sophie Kinsella, Jill Mansell, etc. :)
  
• TO GO TO FORM 4 NEXT YEAR.
  
• make up set, eye shadow, lip gloss, blush gallore! particularly, concealer. the eye bags THAT ARE SO OBVIOUS AND EXTREMELY ANNOYING have to be covered. or at least disappear. PLEASE?
• nail polish in every single colour. :)
• my eye bags gone. AND BETTER LEGS. and hairless armpits and legs! -pokes the big guy up there knowing that these wishes are extremely unlikely and impossible.
• glasses. please? i am in serious need of it that the characters im typing up are blurry and sometimes out of focus.
• chocolate? :3
• better shoes. woot.

quite a list? i'm sorry. :P haha!

***
im bored at home. :( i needs someone's place to go to. im going to Aikks' tomorrow! bringing over Gossip Girl, we can totally bitch about the hotties that show up. wooo. but then, whose house next? Eddie's maybe with Richelle to do the Mayday Parade cover Chewy wants to do so badly? pleaaaaaaaaaase? :D

goodnight!

-pasko, na!

"Bella, Ive already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. Im not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you cant even walk straight. Besides, friends dont let friends drive drunk," he quoted with a chuckle. I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.

"Drunk?" i objected.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." he was grinning that playful smirk again.

"I can't argue with that," I sighed.

i consider this half of the post to be a letter to myself.

"Are you ready to sleep?" he asked. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million and two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next..." he reminded me. I smiled, euphoric at the thought.

"Are you sure you wont vanish in the morning?" I wanted this to be certain. "You are mythical after all." 

"I wont leave you." his voice had a seal of promise in it.

Edward: and so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Bella: what a stupid lamb.

Edward: what a sick, masochistic lion.

"The talking came earlier."

I groaned. "What did you hear?"

His gold eyes grew very soft. "You said you loved me."

"You knew that already." I reminded him, ducking my head.
"It was nice to hear, just the same."

I hid my face into his shoulder.

"I love you." I whispered.

"You are my life now." he answered simply.

darlinks.

way back when

thankyouu.